As much as the Trump administration and his cabinet want the Epstein files to fade into the good night, they aren’t going to fade away. Some of the reasons include the list of people implicated and named in the files, because Trump ran on releasing the full files, and sadly because it is also titillating to some members of society and wished they’d been invited to the Island.
In my humble opinion, I also think it is because it hits home to many people across the country, and possibly the world. Based on CDC research, one out of four girls and one out of six boys under the age of 18 are sexually abused in the United States; these numbers are most likely lower than actual numbers because many families don’t report the abuse to the police. Sexual abuse has touched many families. Using this research, at least 25% of adults, and highly likely many more, have been sexually abused as a child. Each year, approximately 300,000 American children are victims of commercial sexual exploitation, and globally, over one million children are trafficked for the sex trade. The average age of entry into the commercial sex market is around 12 years old!
When one is sexually abused, you don’t forget it as much as you’d like to forget. For some who are abused, they descend into drug and/or alcohol abuse, or violence to try and forget. Others will become abusers themselves. Suicide becomes an out from memories for too many. And for many others, they live with knowing what happened to them, trying not to let it affect their daily lives as much as possible. Many suffer in silence from the misplaced guilt and shame of the experience.
No matter how many times a victim of abuse is told it isn’t their fault, human nature still makes it feel as if it was. Maybe they didn’t say no. Maybe they didn’t scream for help. Maybe they didn’t fight hard enough. Maybe they felt as if they deserved it. Maybe because they trusted too much. Maybe because they were led to believe it was natural. Maybe because they didn’t say anything sooner, or at all. All of these run through the minds of a sexual abuse survivor.
I know because I am one of the six boys who was sexually abused by not one, but two relatives, from the age of five to eight. This is not common knowledge to most in my life. I haven’t shared this part of my life for many reasons, mainly because in many ways I didn’t think it was anyone’s business really. The experience has shaped my life, affected how I view relationships, who I let into my inner circle, who I trust and how long it takes to build that trust, and more. Although I don’t wish the experience on anyone, it is a part of my past, has affected me, and was one of the steps in life that has helped get me to where I am, which is a very good place. I have a husband who loves me for who I am, children who I love, a grandson who I love, and a circle of friends whom I care about and care about me.
That doesn’t mean I’m not angry. Angry at the abusers because they abused not only me, but at least four others Angry one of the abusers later went to prison twice for abusing little girls who could’ve have been stopped earlier. Angry at the relatives who had to know and did nothing, asked stupid questions without asking if any of us had been hurt in any way. Angry that once it was known, the abusers were reported to the elders of my congregation of the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Angry that the elders, who I was led to believe could be trusted, did not report it to the police, but decided instead to disfellowship the main abuser. Angry that for years I, and the others abused, had to be around our abusers at family functions and meetings. Angry that for the abuse towards the five of us, nothing was really done—the abusers got to live their lives without any real consequences for their crimes.
This is why the Trump/Epstein files have hit a nerve across the country, and the world. It is because once again, for so many of us, it appears there will be no real consequences for the men, and women, who recruited these children, who abused these children, and from some of the released files, tortured and killed these children. There also appears there will be no real consequences for the men and women who seem to have continued their business and personal relationships with Epstein even after his 2008 conviction as a sex offender and known pedophile. What Epstein could do for them was far more important than wayward children being harmed by, from the released files, the very rich and powerful around the world.
It seems we may have finally reached the point where those of us not rich and powerful have had enough of those who are getting away with crimes the rest of us would spend our lives imprisoned for had we committed these acts, these crimes. We have grown tired of the rich and powerful having a separate set of laws and justice than the rest of us. Of our children and ourselves being used by the rich and powerful for their own amusement and enrichment.
I for one, will not be quiet and let the Trump/Epstein files be swept under the rug…again!
I’ll keep posting about the release of the files on social media, in my writing, and in my contact with elected officials. All us who are not rich and powerful may not have the same level of money and connections as the rich and powerful, but we do still have our voices.
Let’s not become quiet, but become louder. Louder and louder until there is true accountability for any, regardless of political party, businessman, or standing in the community, who committed the crimes of sexual trafficking and abuse of children as well as for those who aided, abetted, and cavorted with sex abusers and pedophiles.
Stand with me for justice!
Personal Reflections of a Middle-Aged Man 