Throughout most of our lives, as birthday’s get closer, there is one question always asked, “What do you want for your birthday?” When we are young, the list of things flows freely from our mouths. As we age, that list gets shorter and shorter, until one day, there is no list.
The age at which this happens varies for all of us. I would bet money though, for most, it is our late 50’s and early 60’s. This is about the time we start realizing our own mortality. Calculating out how many good years we might have left. Thinking of things we’ve done, or not, and those we still want to do. The proverbial bucket list.
Now, I’ll never turn down books or kitchen gadgets. Those are pretty easy to get, and tried and true. What we start wanting as we get older, dare I say, also wiser, is harder to obtain.
Time.
Time can be elusive, non-existent, withheld, and quick-moving.
My list has, for the most part, reached that point of thinking hard to answer what do I want for my birthday. Some events over the past year have solidified the list for material things has shifted to wanting more time to create memories.
I didn’t realize the full shift had occurred until today while driving from dinner back to my hotel. My thoughts were drifting over the day. It started with breakfast with my niece. She’s about to go off to college out-of-state and in a city much much larger than our hometown. We had a great conversation about the move, the anticipation, the anxiety, the fear one has in making big changes (speaking from experience at a time when I was even younger than she is now). I discovered we have many similar life philosophies and feelings of needing to discover who we are in a place no one knows us. A time to recreate oneself, which I highly recommend doing several times throughout one’s life.
The day also had a nice lunch with my mom and dinner with half my siblings. We are all, as much as I don’t want to admit at times, getting older. Each day and visit becomes more precious as it passes. Taking my mom out is not anything new as I’ve been doing that for a while. Dinner with all of my siblings, all seven of them, started about a year ago. Although we’ve not all been able to be at each dinner other than once, it is still nice to see all that show up; hopefully all eight of us can be together again soon.
Also on my mind was a four-day trip with my husband earlier this summer. I wrote about it at the time, but it was our first ever trip alone after 20-years together. It was nice, it was leisurely, it was fun, and I enjoyed having him all to myself and not having too set of a plan.
I want more of those days and memories. Now to work towards making it happen.
Personal Reflections of a Middle-Aged Man 