Personal Reflections of a Middle-Aged Man

While driving through a rural area of my state, I saw a sign on the lawn of a house. The sign said, “Pray for the end of abortion.” We all know abortion can become a very heated topic. Since the end of Dobbs (which originally made abortion legal), and the votes in Ohio and Virginia, the topic remains in the forefront of a lot of our minds.

When I first read the sign and processed what it said, my first thought was, I agree. For myself, I would like to see the end of abortion, but not in the sense I am assuming this person meant (it is an assumption based on where I was in the world). Before I continue, I want to state emphatically that I am in favor of a women’s right to bodily autonomy and choice. As a man, as a white man, and now as an older white man, even though I’ve always felt this way, it really isn’t my place, nor anyone’s place, to dictate the choices of a woman towards her body, and whether she wants to carry a fetus to term. I believe it is between a woman, her doctor, her God, and the father—if the circumstances of conception were consensual, otherwise even the father should have no say. Ultimately though, it is up to the woman and no one else.

That said, I still believe abortion should be performed only in the rarest of cases. In the society in which we live, over eighty percent of the public believe in choice. In the society in which we live, most abortions occur within the first 21 weeks of conception, often earlier. In the society in which we live, less than 0.9 percent of abortions occur in what is termed “late-term” abortions; usually due to the health concerns of the fetus or of the mother.

But, there are things that must be in place that elected Republicans refuse to support. This means when these bills have been brought before them, they vote no overwhelmingly across the board. These men, as elected officials are still generally men, seem to want to be able to spill their seed with any female, in some cases of any age, and if the female becomes pregnant, then the result of that act, consensual or not, must be brought into the world because it was God’s will; somehow Satan never comes into the equation in terms of how some men act.

In order for the above person’s prayers to be answered, realistically to the end of abortion in 99 percent of cases, elected Republicans must support the following:

• Birth control available to both males and females at the age in which they decide to explore and experiment with the sexual awakening.
• Sex education throughout all grade levels using age appropriate vocabulary and, controversially, a parent should not be able to opt out as I would garner the majority of parents don’t discuss sex or STIs with their children.
• Good touch/bad touch education led by mental health professionals, using age appropriate language, every year, at all grade levels while also creating safe spaces to report sexual abuse; again, no parental opt-outs since most abuse occurs by someone close to the victim.
• Harsh penalties for rapists, including those who rape their own children, with increased penalties for those who rape children.
• Believing, and intensely investigating, reports of rape and sexual abuse without negative bias towards the victim, including male victims. This includes how they are negatively treated in the courtroom.
• Implementation of Universal Basic Income to assist families in raising their children and meeting the families basic needs.

Another sign also caught my attention as I drove by what I believe was a church. It stated, “We believe in adoption over abortion.” This sign I too agree with as an adoptive parent.

But, in practice and reality, there are already far too many children in the foster system and not enough families to adopt them. If the people that believe in adoption over abortion would truly step up to practice what they preach, this may be a more viable solution.

As with the above on ways to curb abortions, elected Republicans would also need to support a few things legislatively (note: many states currently offer at least some of the following):

• Minimum six months of paid adoption leave for the men and women who choose to adopt a child or children.
• Free universal neo-natal healthcare; free quality daycare for all children until they reach school age; free healthcare for the child until age 18 for all medical and mental health concerns (although we should have universal healthcare for all); and one-year of vouchers to cover costs of bringing home a new member of the family, such as beds and clothing.
• Monthly stipends to assist in the increase in family expenses, such as for food, utilities, school fees, etc.
• Allow any qualified, highly vetted, adult to adopt a child regardless of their race, gender, or sexual orientation.
• Fully cover the mental health costs of an adoptive family as integrating a new member into the family, especially older children, are not without challenges for all involved.

To support the end of 99.1 percent of abortions and encourage adoption, there must be supports put in place. Just pontificating will not do the job—never has, never will. If the above items were put in place tomorrow, those without means would have fewer abortions. Those who don’t want children, but also don’t believe in abortion would more freely give their child up for adoption. Those who want to exercise their right to have consensual sex would take more precautions. And those who feel they can have indiscriminate sex with a child, who can’t give consent, or adult of any age who didn’t give consent, might think twice about committing the act.

We can end abortion, or rather make them extremely rare, quite simply. In many ways doing so has always been simple. It is the lack of will and support of elected Republicans that have held us back—in turn actually supporting abortion through lack of action—that have not made an abortion rare.

So, think hard about who you support in elections. Who will support policies to answer your prayers in terms of abortion, and who will support policies that cause the circumstances where one must choose abortion?

Which do you choose?