I Miss My Husband

Last May my husband agreed to move with me away from Albuquerque. It was not an easy decision, but it was made quicker than I expected.

After a session with my therapist, well really after many sessions leading up to this last one, I realized I was at a breaking point of my emotional and mental well-being. The analogy was I had long gone past my expiration date and was in that zone of being good for just a few more days.

Most probably didn’t notice it as I’m pretty good at hiding what is going on inside. I was still performing my job well, interacted with friends as if things were okay, all while reflecting on my life and where I was in living it.

Inside I was dealing with knowing the good memories of my home and family were quickly becoming overshadowed by the challenging and damaging experiences within my family.

My husband acknowledged my experiences and had stood by me, and I him, through all of this. For me, it was about to become overwhelmingly encompassing of my well-being. I know I caught him off guard, and yet there was no question of moving, although we did look at the pros and cons, and the possibility moving would have no effect. The most jarring I think was when I said I had to move soon, as in at the end of the school year.

As we discussed this decision over the next few days, such as when things had to happen, how to tell the kids, jobs and where to go, a plan fell into place.

Fast forward, I left right after the school year ended. Heading to Indianapolis to find a job, a home and a school for my kids.

The hardest part of the move of being apart from my husband. I miss my kids, my dog, my friends and many things about Albuquerque. But I miss him the most.

We have always had a pretty good relationship. Our first year together was spent apart as I had to finish my school year in San Jose. As with any relationship, it took a few months to figure out how to live together since we both have strong opinions and personalities, but we did it.

Since then we have made many minor and major decisions about our careers, our money and whether to have children, and then how to raise them.

Throughout our relationship we have had disagreements, but very few major arguments. We have talked through things, and even when we disagree, in most things we’ve presented a united front.

I miss the banter we have, the innuendos we share, the laughter about life, the joy of being together, the face-to-face discussions, the support of one another, the look of love no one else matches, just his presence. What I miss most though are the sideway glances he doesn’t think I see, the feeling of how much I mean to him, and his touch, even the slight pressure as he passes me in the hallway.

We are down to 11 weeks from 52 until the move that brings us all together.

Just 11 weeks until my other half, my better half, the person who helps complete me, arrives.

Every day is one less day apart.

See you soon!

2 thoughts on “I Miss My Husband

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